Monday, February 26, 2007

Thank you, Debbie Reynolds

The Second Annual Blarg took place last Saturday night.

Everyone in attendance seemed to have gained some pleasure from this event, and, I gained a bit of insight into what makes us who we are.

NYC bloggers do not make small talk, and every subject is fearlessly trespassed. We are rather a bunch of surgeons-manques, sure of our scalpels and undaunted by social bloodshed. Nothing doesn't fascinate us, so we pay attention to the details of urinals as carefully as we would the separation of Siamese twins. (I do not know why the second one, covered in cardboard, had a picture of an egg-in-grass pasted on it. I think these were at Dick’s Bar. Maybe.)

dick's mens room

At one point, I raised lens at blogless-Ken, Paul and Mark. After I examined the dismal first pic,

BEFORE

I lowered the camera and told them a secret I learned at age ten from Debbie Reynolds, speaking on television. When you have your picture taken, do not give in to your natural instinct to screw your face up into a smile. That will always make you look many years older than you actually are. Instead, think “Surprise”. Open your eyes widely, do not raise your eyebrows, and open your mouth with a drop of the jaw.

They acknowledged the instruction, and this second shot demonstrates the truth of what I feel to be the most important lesson of my life.

AFTER

13 comments:

Joe said...

And I have 200 photos of you in precisely the same pose.

David said...

Genius. I will never pose for a photo the same again.

henry said...

Are you sure Debbie was referring to having your picture taken? It sounds like such good advice for a multitude of occasions...

Brian said...

I may never take a bad photo again.

Thank you, Debbie Reynolds.

Mike said...

Does NYC have a law against nice, clean, sanitary restrooms in gay bars? Jesus, it looks like they've never heard of "scrubbing bubbles." What a literal shithole.

Atari_Age said...

Wow, that pointer should be on posters somewhere.

Paul said...

Hmmm... I look mildly retarded in both photos... but I think I was pretty tipsy at that point.. so I'm lucky I'm not cross-eyed and drooling.

ivan said...

That's a great tip. Gotta try that next time.

Cooper said...

I just tried it. It's not easy to open your eyes wide without raising your eyebrows. I'll have to work on it. The jaw dropping mouth open part I have down pat.

(Oh, and that first picture made me queazy).

Helen the Felon said...

I have been struggling desperately for the last three minutes or so, both to contain my giggling, and to think of something more hysterical than photo #2. No luck with either one. I am utterly helpless.

Daniel, the Guy in the Desert said...

DR, one of the great underrated FagHags of our time. In Bye Bye Birdie, she taught a generation how to be a slutty virgin.

Mike said...

Paul, you and the other guys in the photo are all woofalicious, you have nothing to worry about.

Mark said...

you are not allowed to point a camera at me ever again.

that said, I just roared with laughter at my desk, and then had to explain everything to my co-workers.