The trans community can be hostile, volatile and downright
dismissive when one of their own embraces an opinion that might be used to
support the arguments of their oppressors. That is why widely-followed Mark
Angelo Cummings, the Cuban born F2M (female-to-male) transsexual set off a
firestorm when he suggested that helping youngsters transition might be
misguided, and that his own transitioning might have been a big mistake.
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| Mark Angelo and Lynna Cummings |
His recent detransitioning back to “Maritza” outraged some
of his fans, and his controversial stance caused sponsors to dump him. His new
wife M2F trans Lynna admits that she is attracted to Mark more than Maritza. If
you are rolling your eyes, please wait a moment. This couple is wiser than any
headline might lead you to think.
Six years have passed since I wrote about Cummings for South
Florida Gay News (http://southfloridagaynews.com/Tony-Adams/mark-angelo-cummings-songs-in-the-key-of-f2m.html)
when he was living in Hollywood, Florida, with his then-wife Violet, and
beginning a career as a singer/songwriter. After several years traveling and
living in New Mexico, and with a few unsuccessful relationships with men and
women behind him, Cummings has returned to Fort Lauderdale with his new
wife. When I ask him if he has continued
to write songs and to perform, he seems surprised by the question, and it is
clear that he has spent six years generating an all-encompassing online presence
in word, image and video about what it means to be trans. That did not leave
much time for music.
To be clear, his detransitioning back to female is on hold
for the moment as the couple takes this time to settle into Victoria Park and a
new phase of their life. You can still follow Cummings’ brutally honest
self-presentation on Facebook, on his blog and on his Youtube channel where fans’
tempers sometimes flare.
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| Maritza |
Cummings did not disguise his very practical reasons for
stopping his detransitioning. The money, the icy reception by his parents, the
apartment hunt and his wife’s love put a stake through the heart of the freshly
reborn Maritza.
Online, he clearly describes his practical decision with
these words, “All of the events that took place from pounding the pavements
finding an apartment that would be affordable, in a good neighborhood and free
from scammers, led to my knowing that detransitioning was not an option for me
after all. I felt vulnerable as Maritza and had to use, yes I know, my male
privilege to get the job done. It is a jungle out there and unfortunately my
alpha nature [as Mark] is needed to be taken seriously and to protect my wife
and I during certain situations[…]Nonetheless I don’t regret the 3 months of my
attempts to detransition, but in those three months, I quickly learned how much
I hated fussing over myself, the make up, the worrying about what I was going
to wear, the looking in the mirror and not liking what I saw. In the end, it
would take way too much money to detransition and to make things look
presentable after 13 years of testosterone and all of the secondary
characteristics that it created. I am who I am, and after all at 51 years
of age, I can’t put myself through all of that. I became Mark 13 years ago, and
Mark I shall remain.”
Building on those words, I asked Mark who he actually is. He
replied, “I am two-spirited. Sometimes the female part of my nature comes to
the foreground and sometimes my male side dominates. I think we are all like
that to some degree.”
In listening to Mark and Lynna, I find that what separates
them from most people is their fearless ability to give expression to what is
in their hearts without worrying about the approval of others, and free from
the assumption that today’s decision must be monumental or permanent.
Gender-presentation seems to be a small part of their deep devotion to each
other, and the gifts they give each other are more lavish than their sex
organs.
Lynna tells me that soon after their arrival in Fort
Lauderdale, Mark brought her to the Wilton Manors bar Alibi. Walking through that door, Mark rejoiced at being in a crowd
of gay men and proclaimed them to be his people. Did that moment upset Lynna?
Not in the slightest. She shrugs and smiles when she tells me about this. She
knows and cherishes her husband to the core. She accepts the entire package
that is Mark Angelo and Maritza
Cummings without much concern about the wrapping. Glad to have all three of
them nearby, I hope Mark will pick up his guitar and write some new songs.
For more, check out http://www.transitionradio.net
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