Thursday, October 26, 2006

Ahhhh.

Clean Kitchen Sink Oct 26, 2006

Is there anything more beautiful in the world than a freshly cleansed kitchen sink? A replenishing of the heart’s optimism! Lean into it. The fumes and films of old food, coffee and grease from the skillet are gone. No need to fear grime upon close inspection. And, just touch that porcelain!

In the pantheon of what I love, C reigns. If I wore a locket, his image would be sequestered within, but that pendant would be best shaped like our double basin Kohler, folded over, latched and lightly borne over my heart.

Yes, first it’s C. Then those chocolate chip cookies from Levain. Then, a certain appendage I encountered in Chicago a few years back. Then Laura Nyro, and after that, I do loves me a clean kitchen sink!

Pardon the product placement, but when one is ready to clean the kitchen sink, Comet is required and no substitute will do.

No need for instruction, save for this absolute: get your hands well involved in the rinse. One hand directs the spray while the other strokes all residue from the surface until both the dirt and cleanser have spun themselves down the drain. I repeat: sponges or cloth are fine for the scrubbing, but the rinse must be accomplished by skin only in direct contact with every inch of the lips and depths of your sink. Warm water will have warmed the finish and it will feel almost flexible against the flat of your palm.

When you are done, your hands will have been stripped of all moisture and almost unbearably dry. Counter this by swiping up the little jewels of beaded water that remain, and as you leave the kitchen with your hands pressed up against your nostrils, savor the scent of your efforts. Smell your fingertips again on your way to work, again at your desk and again in the privacy of a restroom stall.

Think about returning home, flipping on the lights and rushing into your kitchen and up to the sun-downed gleam of it, urging you to reach for the faucet to wet it down, to soothe another workday, to receive your reflection and to drain from it all distraction.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Love you, but soft scrub with bleach is better. Seriously better. Levain chocolate chip cookie v.s. Tollhouse better. :)

Chicago

henry said...

A lovely and lyrical account on the pleasures of cleaning. And I thought you had to be a german housewife comme moi to get sensual pleasures out of the kitchen sink.

As my eye inspected the admirable results of your work, I couldn't help but notice the device on the windowsill. A balance? Equating mass to s/m/l/xl sizes?? Can it be???

farmboyz said...

the gizmo on the sill is an egg scale but can be used for weighing similar.

Cooper said...

Porn for kitchen sink. Why do I feel like rushing out and buying some Comet and indulging in an orgy of sink cleaning after reading this post? Even though my sink is stainless steel and therefore not "warm".

I too have glass prisms on my kitchen window sill. Is that a natural sponge in the stone bowl to the right?

farmboyz said...

Yes Coop, it's a Tibetan prayer bowl from a store in Provincetown called WA. It prays silently, and the sponge has gathered dust for five years because it is, just like me, entirely ornamental.

Daniel, the Guy in the Desert said...

Most of us wouldn't be able to wash our sink like that more than once a day at best, but I'll wager that you can go two or three times a day. I got hot just reading that.

farmboyz said...

Oh Daniel, how I do wish you were right about that, but after I "wash the sink" all I want to do is turn on the TV and eat ice cream.

David said...

OK, you lost me there. In fact, I found it a bit disturbing. My mantra has always been Carol Channing from "Free to Be You and Me." "Your mommy hates housework, your daddy hates housework, I hate housework, too. And when you grow up, so will you."

You don't want to see what my sink looks like.

rodger said...

Ah...so you're borderline OCD too...

heh

farmboyz said...

Rodger, given the small number of times that sink has actually been clean, I can't even see the borderline of OCD from here. Having this kitchen has taught me something. When having a place built or renovated, never compromise on the stuff you use every day: sink, toilet, countertops (green marinacia granite) and floor (don't let them tell you that two coats of urethane on an oak floor is enough. It's not. Get three.)

copperred said...

Having no dishwasher the past few years has endeared me to the vision of a clean sink. There's a satisfaction with having it gleam, but I can't say I'm as giddy about it as you. Somehow it doesn't quite thrill me the same way as hot head from a guy who likes having his nipples tweaked.

jimmycity said...

...maybe you like the scent of Comet cuz it smells like sperm...