Today The Ocean Said

The Cupboard is Bare

Last week, I took this picture of the kitchen next to my office to illustrate for my husband the temptation I am up against on a daily basis in my delightful one-week-per-month workplace.

Alas, that temptation has been removed. The boss had a Friday afternoon chat with me about the budget for the coming year. A budget in which I do not appear. Part-timers are always the first to go in a time of tightening fiscal constraints.

Our discussion was cordial and sentimental. I reaffirmed that I have enjoyed every second I've spent at this office. I reminded him that I had not been looking for work when the offer was made and that his guess that I have a full life outside of work is more than mildly accurate. The office holiday party next month will be my last day with the finest group of folks one could imagine as co-workers.

This curious little boutique blog was the reason for that job. Could it happen again? Be forewarned all ye who have need for a writer/editor. I am fond of bouncing back and forth between NYC and Fort Lauderdale with tidal governance. I don't much cotton to wearing a tie. Most of all, I am a man who is extremely conscious of time and the setting of good priorities and the expedient and diplomatic solving of the problems of others. Also, I tend to make what I do look easy, so I'm a pleasant au revoir when you decide you can do without me.

Have you chocolate? Let's talk.

I am amazed that I have had my part-time NYC job for two years. It felt like five minutes.

First Place

The Baadlamb's brother, my brother-in-law, takes first place in the annual Hilton Head 10K.

Pre-Holiday House Cleaning

I find that some things have gone unreported. Among them are these moments:

We attended the XXXX birthday edition of His Erudition, and if you are not reading his singularly reformated blog you are missing some fine writing and thinking. His approach sets him apart from others who write first and think second, if at all.

A guest who I am assuming will want to remain headless.

Chris, the BaadLamb, JMG and ELeven:


Earlier that day, I helped the talented Baad Lamb install a sign he had designed. I helped by staying out of the way.


That same day, we had a delightful rendezvous with John Shields (Bilerico alumnus) Dave Badash (Bilerico contributor) and Justin Elzie (hot New Yorker).


I don't remember the what or where of this photo. It is from the same day as the above. It may have been from the Xtravaganza House Ball at Irving Plaza. My life is blurred.

Hilton Head, South Carolina

Xtravaganza!

Getting an early start for Hilton Head (highest concentration of heterosexuality in the known universe) for the week. First, here's a few shots of the House of Xtravaganza Ball at New York's irving Plaza,Friday, November 20, 2009. (In the fifth picture are the frosted lucite dress form trophies awarded to the category winners!)






I'll assemble a complete video but you mustn't miss the end of this where he does the "fall back" move from on top of the table! (I don't know much about this dance move, but I am guessing it can be traced to crazed church services in which someone slain by the spirit falls backward onto the floor.) Nobody did this move like this guy did it!

Mixnyc.org because it is bad to take yourself too seriously.

On Friday at midnight we went to a MIX NYC art installation and video show at 125 West 21st Street in NYC. We were invited by Christian and were warmly welcomed by friendly fun-loving faeries. About MIX NYC:

MIX NYC Promotes, produces and preserves experimental media that is rooted in the lives, politics and experiences of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and otherwise queer-identified people. MIX’s work challenges mainstream notions of gender and sexuality while also upending traditional categories of form and content.

I would love to get a copy of the video in which a naked young man staring at a TV with zombie eyes repeatedly droned "I'm an activist. I'm an activist. I'm an activist." There are easily two dozen people to whom I'd like to send that clip.

Here are Christian, The Baad Lamb and Daisy


I met someone named Busy who really wasn't.


The Baad Lamb recumbent.

The Baad Lamb has a history of climbing without hesitance into inviting art installations. This happened two years ago.

And this happened at Exit Art.

Ari Gold's helmet

At last night's Instinct Magazine Leading Men awards bash honoring our Joe, after Ari Gold finished his performance, Dr. Jeff suggested dared me to try on his helmet left onstage.


Ari's manager, probably now regretting the fact that he had just given me his card, ended the arigolden moment.



photos by Dr Jeff.

JoeMyGod honored as one of Instinct Magazine's Leading Men of 2009

And a good time was had by all. Here's the evidence.

I am especially pleased with this:

The dissolution of heterostyle

This is not really news. Anyone with eyes on the sidewalks in New York City would have seen this percolate on the Lower East Side and spill over into Chelsea, Hell's Kitchen and finally the Upper West Side where after a season of being digested and defined in the boardroom of the Gap, it finally appears in their windows.

Why is this important? It makes drag impossible. Old fashioned drag, that is. Once men and women give themselves license to shop in each others aisles, it's all over. There have been incremental baby steps: unisex bathrooms, unisex hair salons, goth make-up and jewelry, nail polish, biker chic, euro-chic, messenger bags, Doc Martins, Converse. And don't tell me you've never walked into a clothing store at the mall and been unable to determine which section was for women and which for men.

I used to try on women's sweaters because their length suited me. It was always a trying experience. Now, it would be a non-event.

Do you have anything at home that was originally designed for the opposite sex? I do. My husband.

As Tim Gunn told me the other night, all fashion is about expressing how you see yourself and want others to see you. All fashion is semiotic.

Tomorrow on Bilerico: "In My Grandmother's Dress"

You'll have to go to Bilerico tomorrow morning to find my answer to this:

Dear Father Tony,

I read what you recently wrote about parenting so maybe you can settle something for me. We are two men raising my five year old son. I want this kid to grow up to be confident, which you correctly noted is so important, and because of that I want him to fit in at school. I don't want him to act loopy or fem or dress "different" when he is young. He will have plenty of time for that when he is older if he wants. Because of this, we are careful to dress masculine at home. We never did drag but I mean that we have just toned down the whole gay way of dressing. We are keeping it "beige" if you know what I mean. I think I'm doing the kid a favor. He can flame out in whatever direction he wants to when he is on his own. My husband says I might be wrong about this.

Triathlete69r

Update: It's up. Get on it.

In which Tim Gunn gives me fashion advice!

In my assigned seat on the runway (front row, thanks GMHC!) I had no idea that the cute and friendly guy next to me was a 2008 Nightlife Coverboy of the Year. His card says he is a VP at the bank holding my savings. I am comforted.

I traded air kisses with America's sweetheart, LOGO's Mike Diamond. And no, he's not engaged. A $6 rhinestone from Canal Street.



Here's a photo album of the event.

Watch Mark's List. Possible New Owner of South Florida Blade/411?

This would not surprise me.

There has been an alliance of effort between Mark's List and The South Florida Blade/411 in recent months. I began to notice some co-sponsorship of events I was covering/attending. You could almost smell an impending marriage. Even so, no acquisition is bloodless. If this union is what will infold, I will be interested in seeing what Mark's List does with what they acquire. There will be more than just a name change.

UPDATE: Suspicions correct: Here's Mark Haines' statement.

Thank you, Commenter 320

Joey has informed me that I have been honored by commenter 320 on this post as being FBI worthy.

Following Patty Hearst who became Tanya, I've had to come up with my underground name: Regina Mortis!

Mr. Sitt is sitting pretty.

Go to the very end of this article about the situation with Coney Island to get a lesson in how to makes tens of millions of dollars simply by not doing something.

Tomorrow on Bilerico: "Snap Out Of It."

You'll have to go to Bilerico tomorrow for my response to this:

Dear Father Tony,

I am tired of everything I have here. But everything is just fine. Home, guy, job, money. Car. I just think maybe this is all a mistake and I’m not happy and I could be if I slipped out the back door in the middle of the night.

“Feeling guilty for what I have not done.”

I know he's innocent because

Priests never go keening
For men with dry cleaning.

Always check your spam folder.

Do you realize how heavily Jane Austen or Edith Wharton, if they were writing today, would lean on the "spam folder" as the declaration of love-thwarting romantic doom device that could cause generations of unhappy marriages, regret and erroneous avoidances. And what fun Shakespeare would have had with it. It could replace the sleeping potion in Romeo and Juliet. And, my God, Dickens! He'd have loved it too much.

Ugh. Questo non mi piace. Una cosa brutta.

I am soooo over Zaha Hadid. Is there no civilized corner of the world that she will not degrade?

This looks like an arthritic vulture that crashed after suffering a heart attack in mid-flight.

However and to be fair, I will reserve judgment until I've actually visited the carcass.

NYC Anti-Violence Project Award Winners

Sometimes these award events are actually meaningful. These four great writers, Pam, Andy, Bil and Joe, could have chosen to focus on anything with equal success. The fact that they cover the reality of gay America, reaching into remote parts of the country where isolated gay folks really need what they deliver makes this award significant and well-deserved.

Pam's got the story.

Here is one of Pam's photos. I wish they had all worn just their "work clothes"....

Gay Violence

Inevitable?

Recently Emergent Key West Photos

I love this one.

This is hilarious. (Steve was our host.)

I have absolutely no recollection of this.

Best Waterfront Mansion in Fort Lauderdale

Do you remember what Klipspringer played on Gatsby's piano?

Gay Fathers vs Walmart

I just want to know why they were buying BIC lighters. That should have been the subject of the chat in the detention room.

This week, in the South Florida Blade,

I think I'm sort of saying that we should turn our theaters back into barns? Anyway, I don't write the headlines.

I have to give credit to Jeff Bowen and Hunter Bell for the "donuts for dinner" thing. I don't know if they coined it, but I lifted it from their musical [Title of Show].

My editor decided to axe one line that he felt was unkind. Unfortunately, it contained a phrase of which I was rather proud. It's the last sentence of this section:

I also observe that many gay folks have begun to feel that annual Pride marches and annual gay celebrations are also “donuts for dinner”. With this in mind, I attended the recent “Wicked Manors” Halloween event in Wilton Manors. I had read about its financial woes and was curious to determine its value. I took home the conclusion that a huge crowd of revelers seemed to have a swell time, but if alcohol had been subtracted from the evening, the event would have fizzled faster than the gay excitement at a 7:30 AM Mass in a Catholic church. My overwhelming impression was of the grim and unsmiling face under the heavy make-up of the de rigueur drag-queen-as-emcee who gave the night a tangible “de rigueur mortis”, if you’ll allow me the rare satisfaction of a franco-latin portmanteau.

Tomorrow on Bilerico: "Backyard Swings, Not Slings, For The Kids."

You'll have to go to Bilerico tomorrow after 11:30AM EST for my response to the following:

Hey FT, we are not looking for your advice, sorry. We are a gay couple 10 years strong and curious about what you have to say about displaying or hiding our sexuality in front of our kids who are 7, 9 and 14. Wanna go there?

Rex & Reg

What Maine tells us

If there is any consolation to be had, it is that the closeness of the vote might mean that we are just one election cycle away from a popular vote somewhere in the country coming in pro-gay. It is easily within reach.

I suspect that an analysis of the Maine vote will show that older Mainers voted anti-gay and younger ones voted pro-gay. Older voters tend to die off. At most, we are one generation away from being rid of the oppression of god-fearing homophobes.

Tomorrow on Bilerico: "Superman Never Looked This Good!"

You'll have to go to Bilerico tomorrow afternoon for my review of Nightlife and my interview with its author, Dale Lazarov.