Dear Father Tony,
I'm involved with a smoker. He is funny and brilliant and we are great together, but I am not dealing well with the cigarettes. He wants us to live together and I do too. He promises that he will quit smoking forever on the first day of 2010. I don't know if he can do it, and I don't know if I can handle it if he doesn't. Love is a bargain, and I have a few bad habits of my own, but I am afraid I am getting into something I will regret.
Coin Tosser
Update: It's up. Get on it.
1 comment:
There is not one thing positive about smoking other than it can be something to do while bored. As an ex smoker i can say that my relationships are better because of quitting. It is unhealthy, all smokers know this and one cannot quit smoking till they quit smoking. Banking or betting on a specific future date to give it up may be a pipe dream. It may be wishful thinking for the both of you as well. Trying to change someone is not gonna work anymore that trying to change yourself for somebody else does. Think of your clothes, your hair, your skin....etc. I see possible resentments building up. Smoking is a nasty addiction and i can admit my personal experience may lead me to be extremely biased but i, too, don't want to be around it much less live in it or with it. No way in hell. I am vulnerable to lighting up again if i allow that and "Motown", although a non smoker is also vulnerable to negative aspects of a ghastly habit that is not even his own. I hope FT says to take control of your own life.
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