Priest #1 (me) into the telephone: Hey Candi Darlin, how’d your “Dead-in-Bed” go?
Priest #2 (at his parish in another town): You would not believe. Black hairnet, wig on the floor, leopard print bikini underwear, red open-toed sling-backs, and a bottle of poppers in his fist.
Priest #1: Get outta town!
Priest #2: I kid you not. And he was definitely doorknocker city but I oiled his head anyway cuz ya neva know, and then the cop goes into the kitchen to make a phone call, so it’s just me and Miss Thing, soooo, I pried the poppers out of his hand which was not easy, lemme tellya. Not like he’s gonna need ‘em where he’s goin’.
Priest #1: You did not!
Priest#2: Jesus said “Waste not want not”.
Priest#1: Just surprised you didn't go for the shoes.
Priest#2: Too small.