Thursday, August 21, 2008

From the 1980 diary

Priest #1 (me) into the telephone: Hey Candi Darlin, how’d your “Dead-in-Bed” go?

Priest #2 (at his parish in another town): You would not believe. Black hairnet, wig on the floor, leopard print bikini underwear, red open-toed sling-backs, and a bottle of poppers in his fist.

Priest #1: Get outta town!

Priest #2: I kid you not. And he was definitely doorknocker city but I oiled his head anyway cuz ya neva know, and then the cop goes into the kitchen to make a phone call, so it’s just me and Miss Thing, soooo, I pried the poppers out of his hand which was not easy, lemme tellya. Not like he’s gonna need ‘em where he’s goin’.

Priest #1: You did not!

Priest#2: Jesus said “Waste not want not”.

Priest#1: Just surprised you didn't go for the shoes.

Priest#2: Too small.

7 comments:

Michael said...

LOL...I want to leave a comment, but all I can do is laugh!

David said...

I have no idea what that was about.

Beau RN said...

I love this story because it once again humanizes us all. None of us, despite our chosen work, are any more or less righteous then the next person. If we stopped putting people up on pedestals and believe in the idea we're all human creatures that have humor, emotions, sexuality, and whatnot and bring all these things to the "table", we'd be better for it..and have less sensationalized media poo.

Plus, I love good red shoes in any story so there is that.

cb said...

Oh. My. God.

Literally.

Ashe said...

Replay the scene 28 years later: the shoes would be listed for sale on ebay.

Nyes said...

this story is horribly funny. i wonder who called for the priest though...

Father Tony of the Farmboyz said...

Dear Nyes,
I think in this case the cop called for the priest. Cops don't always call priests for Deads-in-Beds, but the ones who come from Irish Catholic homes always do. In this case, I suspect the cop also wanted to share this particularly "unusual discovery" with someone. There was always a special comaraderie among clergy, cops and funeral directors.