C called my attention to this article in the Times.
I'm on my feet and cheering for David Rakoff's rules! I have actually said "Lady, the day that dog starts paying taxes is the day I'll step around it. Move it."
I would add a sixth rule:
BEN HURLING: Just because you are pushing a ridiculously expensive doublewide Maclaren (containing a five year old "infant" who could and should be walking), does not give you the right to bloody my ankles with your spiked hubcaps.