Friday, January 30, 2009

Word Fun

A pathologist sent me this list:

Washington Post's "Mensa Invitational" which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who is both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7.Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8.Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

8 comments:

Doralong said...

An annual tradition around these parts.

Number two being my personal all time favorite.

Pete said...

Shouldn't #10, Osteopornosis, be defined as A degenerate boner disease?

Father Tony of the Farmboyz said...

Yes, Pete, for which one takes that Sally Field endorsed medication, Boniva....

evilganome said...

I seem to be a victim of both the Bozone layer and the Dopeler effect. It just seems to get worse as I get older too, sad to say.

chamblee54 said...

This is national plagiarism week. For my first effort, I borrowed this list for my blog. If only I had waited for Pete's clarification.
The pictures I added are original, and have nothing to do with the text. G-d created the colors, and is waiting on her royalties.

Birdie said...

18. Spilettos (n. pl.) High heels with spikes so tall that the wearer wobbles when walking.

Tater said...

Thank you for sharing. I needed a good laugh this morning! My favorite was number two as well, and I plan to use it with much frequency. I also liked #8, and have run into a few #6's. I am hoping to avoid reintarnation, as I have already done my time.

Pat Myers said...

​Actually, there isn't any "Mensa Invitational." But The Washington Post does have a wonderfully clever humor contest called The Style Invitational. And an Invitational contest from 1998 is the source of many of the neologisms in the list above. (But not all: For example, "decafalon" isn't a one-letter change from "decathlon," is it? Or "caterpallor"?)

Much better to see the the current Invitational -- every week at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational. We've had more than 700 contests since the ones above! The Style Invitational is published every Sunday in The Post's Style (features) section, and every Thursday online. The contests encompass a wide variety of humor genres, from cartoon captions to song parodies, but there are neologism contests regularly as well.

Check them out at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational.
Or you can join the group "Style Invitational Devotees" on Facebook or contact me at pat.myers@washpost.com com and you'll get a link to the Invitational when it's posted every Thursday. I hope you become a regular reader and maybe even a regular entrant.

Best, Pat Myers
The Empress of The Style Invitational
The Washington Post
pat.myers@washpost.com