1) I do not need 90% of the supplements I have been taking for the past few years. I have stopped enriching GNC and The Vitamin Shoppe.
2) I do not need my AOL account. I need to figure out how to cancel it.
3) The mysterious lyrics to Jamiroquai’s 1994 release “The Return of the Space Cowboy”. The word that gave us trouble turns out to be “Cheeba” which means pot.
4) I can and will continue to publicly and loudly chastise parents who scrape my ankles with their tank-like Maclaren strollers on the sidewalks and in the retail establishments of the Upper West Side of Manhattan (Maclarendale, of thee I sing). Some of those strollers hold school age kids who seem to be drugged.
5) How to find and change the fuse that controls the CD player, clock and rear view mirrors of my car, making me a certifiably butch auto mechanic.
6) How to arrive at the doors of the Madrid and Barcelona Eagles without a map, and, the merits of each.
7) Any taxi driver who says he can get you to JFK in time for your flight is a liar.
8) I am not successfully atheistic, although God knows I’ve tried, and it really doesn’t show.
9) The meaning of the following words, some of which I have avoided for years (I kept a list):
bespoke (the trendiest word of 2006)
and my 2006 favorite: tarantism, meaning “a malady characterized by an uncontrollable urge to dance”.
(I have not yet performed the induction ceremony that will add “melismatic” to the list before the end of the year.)
Next to this list, I have kept on my desk the usage rules governing the following sets of similar:
affect vs effect
foundered vs floundered
immanent vs imminent
scrimmage vs skirmish
discomfit vs discomfort
Reviewing these words and these sets shows me that I still avoid most of them and have an oddly natural resistance to the retention of their definitions.
10) Urine, as sexual currency, does not interest me at all.