Wednesday, December 30, 2009

His Very First Time

My husband, the Baad Lamb, writes about his very first time. Photos included.....

Tomorrow on Bilerico: "GM Unveils The New 2010 Queer"

Right. We may not live to see the day when GM will name a car "The Queer", but could it sell any worse than the rest of their products? Meanwhile, I've come up with a list of ten features, qualities or improvements that I would like to see in every fully loaded 2010 Queer. You'll find it tomorrow on Bilerico.

Update: It's up. Get on it.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

A Better Night in Fort Lauderdale

Tonight I had drinks with Asaf and Eric who are going through their life. We spoke about time and obsession and marriage and movies and where one ought to live. We discarded various constructs and expressed horror at others. We seemed disgusted by similars. Disavowing all fears, I carefully went home.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Straight, Not Narrow

The blog Straight, Not Narrow has picked up on something I wrote on Bilerico. I wonder how many straight married couples secretly agree with the premise that the glorification of marriage is undeserved.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Entertaining the Tourists

He was aggressive without being annoying. All sly smiles and flattery and hands that kept trying to pull me into a dark corner. I didn’t mind, but I was just, as is said, chilling, and watching the crowd.

He didn’t give up. Standing behind me with arms suddenly wrapped around my waist he whispered suggestively into my ear “My name is Rough.”

I shook him off while laughing.

“Yeah right. And my name is Stud.”

“No, really, my name is Rough.”

“You mean your porn name would be Rough.”

“No, no, it’s my real name.”

“OK, if that’s what you want me to believe, fine. You’re Rough and I’m Stud. Actually my name used to be Studmuffin. It was originally German. Schtüdmüffin. But it got accidentally shortened on Ellis Island. The customs agent must have misunderschtüd my grandfather.”

“I’m not kidding.”

“Prove it.”

He handed me a driver’s license from a distant state. In the low light, I had to walk it over to a gas fireplace to read it.  I apologized when the flames quickly curled and darkened the laminate. He wasn’t kidding. 

Nice to have met you, Mr. Ruff.  Sure hope you don’t have difficulty at the airport because of the condition of your ID!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Attacking the Pope

At last, some video. She's athletic!

I was the deacon at Christmas Midnight Mass for Pope Paul VI in 1976. If she had dared to disrupt my performance, I'd have booted her boney ass out onto the piazza before she had finished her jump over the barricades.

(I wonder how much MSNBC paid for that video!)

Peter Sokolowski has set off my gaydar.

If this guy is single, all you other single guys should give chase.

Watch his video and tell me this guy isn't gay-hot. I mean I don't know, I suppose he could be straight...naaaaah.

It's not like Carpet Fresh, for crissakes.

This section of the New York Times report about the woman who moments ago tackled the Pope demonstrates that either the reporter is a fool or traditional liturgical practices such as swinging a smoking incense pot are unknown to many young adults including reporters who should know better.

Benedict made no reference to the incident as the service started. As a choir sang, he sprinkled incense on the main altar before opening the service with the traditional wish for peace in Latin: ''Pax vobis''

I would not be surprised if it turns out she is an Italian nun. They get very aggressive against the barricades on Christmas Eve.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Spa at Chelsea Piers- Ask for Scott

Like most New Yorkers, the Baad Lamb and I have limited space and so we have stopped collecting stuff. Instead, on holidays, anniversaries and birthdays, we are apt to give each other spa treatments, a luxury that is memorable but involves no ongoing servitude and accommodation. We have tried a variety of NYC spas but there is one to which we frequently return. It is located in the Chelsea Piers complex.

You'll have to go to Queer New York for the full experience.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Susan Gibbs, did you laugh or cry while you typed this mess?

It's been a long time since I've had to wallow through gibberish this thick. In case you've fogotten, the archdiocese of Washington threatened to deny social services in DC if gay marriage passed. With today's vote, it will most certainly become a reality, so the archdiocese has released this ridiculous, hilarious and pitiful bit of caving-and-face-saving. Enjoy.

Legalization of Same Sex Marriage in the Nation’s Capital

Archdiocese Remains Committed to Serving Poor

December 15, 2009

Today the District of Columbia joined a handful of states where legislatures or courts have redefined marriage to include persons of the same sex. Since this legislation was first introduced in October, the Archdiocese of Washington opposed the redefinition of marriage based on the core teaching of the Catholic Church that the complementarity of man and woman is intrinsic to the definition of marriage. However, understanding the City Council was committed to legalizing same sex marriages, the archdiocese advocated for a bill that would balance the Council’s interest in redefining marriage with the need to protect religious freedom. Regrettably, the bill did not strike that balance.

The Archdiocese of Washington and Catholic Charities are deeply committed to serving those in need, regardless of race, creed, gender, ethnic origin or sexual orientation. This commitment is integral to our Catholic faith and will remain unchanged into the future.

Religious organizations have long been eligible to provide social services in our nation’s capital and have not been excluded simply because of their religious character. This is because the choice of provider has focused on the ability to deliver services effectively and efficiently. We are committed to serving the needs of the poor and look forward to working in partnership with the District of Columbia consistent with the mission of the Catholic Church.

Susan Gibbs
Director of Communications

Update: Listen to her voice. Just as I suspected: young, caffeinated, smirking, unconvinced of her own words. 

Sunday, December 13, 2009

How he loves New York

My husband, the Baad lamb, has delivered an ode to the city he loves complete with a tour de force video combining his original music and photography.

See it and hear it on Queer New York.

A Queer New York Christmas Greeting

This is for anyone who might be longing for a cheerful New York Christmas moment.

Yesterday, on Fifth Avenue.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Mitchell Gold - A Queer New York Video Interview

Please head over to Queer New York for my interview in Miami with furniture and decor guru Mitchell Gold. You'll get 2 minutes about his new book, "The Comfortable Home" and 5 minutes of bold criticism for the current leaders of gay advocacy groups who are failing more often than winning the battle for gay equality. I was impressed.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Inadvertently Christian Fort Lauderdale Municipal Signage

This sign appeared on the beach earlier this week. I'm quite sure it is a municipal attempt to be religiously neutral. The beach is patrolled constantly by gliding pelicans who suddenly drop into the shallows for fish. 

Yes! Let's show a pelican in a Santa cap!

Actually, the pelican is an ancient Christian symbol of self-sacrifice. Supposedly, the pelican will gouge its own breast to feed its young with its own blood. (Whenever anchovies are not plentiful, I guess.) The crazed Saint Thomas Aquinas called out to Jesus "Pelican of mercy, cleanse me in they precious blood!" (Yuck.) Slightly more palatable is Shakespeare in Hamlet where Laertes says 

To his good friends thus wide I'll ope my arms,
And like the kind, life-rendering pelican,
Repast them with my blood.

Sunday, December 06, 2009

A Christmas Eve Call to Catholic Action

Will you please consider sending this call to Catholic action to all your Catholic friends and relatives?

Did you know that the mistreatment of women, married men and gay men by the Catholic bishops is really the same issue?

I began to realize this while thinking about why the struggle for gay equality in America seems to be failing.

Recent losses in California, Maine and New York have left gay activist leaders arguing about what exactly went wrong. Those battles have, however, made clear the identity of an aggressive enemy of the gay community, the bishops of the Roman Catholic Church.

To please the Pope, the American Catholic bishops have pooled financial resources to overcome marriage equality. They have threatened the cessation of social services and have bound their flock to the belief that God demands that marriage be exclusively between one man and one woman. They have mandated the taking up of collections to support their battle against marriage equality.

These bishops also believe that women are not good enough in the eyes of God to be ordained priests. These bishops also believe that married men are not good enough in the eyes of God to be ordained priests. These bishops also believe that gay men are not good enough to be ordained priests (a particularly curious belief given the huge gay portion of their own ranks).

Now is the time for Catholic women, married men, gay men, and all their Catholic friends and relatives to band together and to end this nonsense. You have the ability to gain your rights if you will realize that these bishops no longer speak for God in this matter. They have gone astray and are misleading you. In your hearts you know this to be true.

You can rectify this situation by holding back your financial support until women, married men and gay men all have equal access to the Catholic priesthood. Do you understand how critically important your financial support is to the life of the Roman Catholic Church in America? Do you understand what would happen if, as a group, you turned off the financial faucet? There would be a panic among those bishops and soon they would find a way to announce that the Holy Spirit has revealed a new truth; that women and married men and gay men deserve equal places in the church and are all worthy of the priesthood. The threat of bankruptcy can be a fast route to holy wisdom.

I am suggesting that on Christmas Eve, all Roman Catholics in America refrain from giving money when the collection basket is passed, and that you continue that restraint until your God-given rights are granted.

I am also suggesting that you consider placing a small pebble in the collection basket as a clear message to your bishops. Your priests who are torn between believing in your equality and their sworn obedience to the bishops might send those pebbles to those bishops just as they do a good portion of the money you routinely give them. And remember, those bishops have already cast the first stone. All you would be doing is politely returning it to them.

The Roman Catholic Church in America is at a crossroads. There will soon be either a healthy enlightenment or a rapid withering. Catholic women, married men and gay men who understand that their bishops are speaking for the Pope rather than for Jesus Christ in this matter will save their Church if they act together. Christmas Eve is the perfect time to start.

I am urging you to refrain from financial support as an act of love for your church. I do not want to see the Catholic Church destroyed by a generation of bishops who are confused and in need of your intervention. They will someday thank you for doing what they could not do.

Will you please consider forwarding this call to Catholic action to all your Catholic friends and relatives?

Miami Drive By

I have developed a fascination with these ubiquitous second story psychics.
Great book title, no? "Second Story Psychic".

Saturday, December 05, 2009


The operation took four days.
113 posts ( 600 print pages) were removed.
The organs have been harvested.
All the sexy and good stuff is gone but will reappear elsewhere.

Friday, December 04, 2009

Art Burn!

Over on Queer New York, you'll find my video of this totally delightful event.
I met El Celso, and I also met c-monster. My husband, the Baad Lamb, reads her much more often than he reads me! He drags me to everything she lists for which I am ultimately grateful. He is green with envy that I have made her acquaintance in Miami while he is toiling in the cold of yet another approaching winter.

Here is one mysterious pic from Art Burn. Behind the BBQ pit, and beyond the "art pyre" and on the far side of the metal fence looms the "North Miami Pain Management" sign. It seemed to make the whole arrangement feel like a crucifixion at dusk, or, it sometimes recalled the eyes of Dr. T. J. Ecklesburg.

Here's a full set of Art Burn pics.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Queer New York

If you go there now, you can say you were there on Day One.

Queer New York is a magazine-style assemblage of some of the best queer LGBTQ NYC voices I know. (About two dozen, so far. Their names will appear as they sign in over the next few days.)

Expect opinions, action alerts, news, reviews, pod casts, party photos, essays and a little bit of everything New Yorkish from queer writers who love and live New York. We will be finding our voice in the weeks to come. Don't hesitate to comment or to make suggestions.


I lifted this from Will who also lifted it:

Top Ten Anagrams for "Defense of Marriage Act"

10. Free! Free! Satanic dogma!
9. America's negated offer
8. Fanatics referee dogma
7. Fear of Satanic emerged
6. Farce of a disagreement
5. I fear act of same-gender
4. Deceit of free anagrams
3. A farce of it: same-gender
2. A. Gore fancies mate Fred
1. Fear decrease of mating

I wonder if these are computer generated or does someone have more time than I.

Today on Bilerico: "Go Ahead. Step Over That Line"

My response to this will appear this morning on Bilerico:

Dear FT,
About 10 years ago I met a guy.  He was in on business from another state and asked me out.  We went out a few times before he went home, and we had incredible chemistry.  Things didn't work out, and he broke it off with me.  I can't help it, but I still think of him from time to time.  I got married to another man, and had 2 children.  I love my husband, but I feel I am falling out of love with him.  It's lack of communication, and everytime we do talk, it escalates into an argument.  I always feel I have to walk on eggshells around him.  
Recently I contacted this old flame.  I know I shouldn't of, but I did.  He is starting to flirt with me, giving me that attention I crave, and I like it.  He has mentioned me coming out to see him, and I have thought about it-that is if I could get away with no problems, which is impossible.  I sometimes feel the only way I can find true closure is if I sleep with him.  I feel these thoughts are really corrupting with my life.  I know I should just break it off, but deep down I don't want to.  I have so many mixed emotions.  Please help. Tani

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Marriage Equality Fails in New York

Today the New York Senate voted down gay marriage 38 to 24.

I think gay activists need to regroup and study what happened not only in New York but in California and Maine. It isn't simply a matter of more money and better ads. The entire battle needs to be reframed and recast. Losing may be enlightening.

Turn a Roll Down Gate into a Thing of Beauty

The NY Times invites its readers to spruce up these two roll down metal gates. Twenty minutes later I sent them these two "afters" to their two "befores":

Update: Here are some of the ones the NYT has chosen to highlight.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

World AIDS Day vigil in Wilton Manors Florida

At The World AIDS Day candlelight vigil in Wilton Manors earlier tonight, Broward County's recently selected first openly gay mayor, Ken Keechl, who lost his first companion to AIDS, addresses the crowd.