Tomorrow on Bilerico: "Third man in"

You will have to go to Bilerico tomorrow to see my response to the following (first of a series from one man on a particular subject):

Have you ever seen a 3way relationship work? Really? We tried it once and it didn't go so hot because he was more into Fred (my partner) than me. This time I was the instigator, but he seems to like Fred just as much as me and Fred feels good about it.

Thoughts?

A classic example of why America is sinking.

We've all been there.

(Sorry to be doing the cut and paste thing (no matter how amusing) but packing up a household has taken me longer than expected. It's driving me nuts, truth to tell. Just when I think I've got it all under control, I open another cabinet or go deeper into another closet. Stuff.

Which god is driving the bus?

It becomes clear that as we switch out the god we have in the driver's seat, each of the passengers will eventually and in turn be thrown under the bus. There is no universal god. Only an extremely personal one. The invocation at the inauguration ought to consist of five minutes of silence to allow each attendee to to burn mental incense to god or Santa Claus or to go outside for a smoke.

For the best reflection on this to date, read Frank Rich's You're Likable Enough, Gay People. While reading it, I asked C if Frank Rich is gay. He replied, "No. He's Jewish and a New Yorker."

(For those of you who don't get that - and I doubt there are many - the next time you take your mother or aunt to a Broadway musical, ask them if they realize how much of the National Humor is either gay or Jewish.)

The future of art

In the future the walls of our homes will undulate constantly with this sort of thing. They will be either home-made or purchased.


πάντα ῥει - panta rei - everything flows from defetto on Vimeo.

PS: You should check out all of Defetto's videos, especially Tapeworm and Hello World. I am full of envy and frustration because i don't have the ability to make this kind of thing.

Obama, read this.

This made me mad. Mad that we are behind rather than in the lead. Mad that we have to spend zillions of dollars on heat when it could be generated for free. If our country wakes up only when its wallet is almost empty, maybe our president-elect will have the brains and vision to throw some of our tax dollars into fostering this type of residential efficiency. Can anyone give me even one good reason for not doing so?

Divine Christmas

I'm glad he runs this every year.

If you had told me 30 years ago that I'd be....

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Next on Bilerico: The Vociferous American Erection

You will have to go to Bilerico on Friday morning for my response to the following:

Dear Father Tony,

This is about my husband’s “little problem” at his gym. Every time he comes home, I ask him “Was he there?” We are getting a lot of laughs out of this but my husband (straight and with a great bod) is asking me what he should do. I’m a (straight) woman so I’m in the dark about this so I’m asking you because you would know…

In the shower at the gym is a guy who is very friendly with my husband. My husband says he likes talking with this guy who is funny and smart but after they got to know each other, one day he comes home and tells me that when they were in the shower together talking, this guy got an erection in the middle of the conversation. I said “What were you talking about?” He says “the economy!” Anyway, the guy doesn’t try to hide it and my husband doesn’t know what to do so he went back to his locker and left really fast.

The thing is that now, it happens the same way every time they are in the shower together. They could be talking about anything and after a few minutes the guy gets an erection and just keeps on talking.

My husband is cool with the gay thing in general but he is not sure how to handle this. It’s like “out there and pointing at him.” He thinks he should say something. I asked him if it happens to the guy only when he’s talking with my husband or with other guys also and my husband says he has never seen it happen with other guys but it’s not like he’s looking so he doesn’t know for sure. He thinks he should say something, but what?

The Housewife.



It's up. Get on it.

The calla lilies are in bloom again...I carried them on my wedding day

Gay Rights Protester seeks husband (or something like one)

When the gay marriage protest march reached Times Square, we bumped into Stan Richardson, "Playwright and Protagonist", who was handing out leaflets and feeling desirous of a New York wedding.

He's cute and funny. (His best line is the one at the very end of the vid.)

Hey you single guys looking for a man, what are you waiting for? stanrichardson@gmail.com

I get the yenta points.

Gay Protest in New York City tonight

We froze but we marched.
From Herald Square (think Macy's and Miracle on 34th St, you hinterlanders) to Times Square. In numbers approaching a few hundred strong, the little lights of protest warmed up the night. More formal observations and video to follow tomorrow, but

a) Just as I expected and despite instructions from JoinTheImpact, this was not a silent, prayerful or chanting crowd. Out came the megaphones and all the usual shouts of "When I say XXXX, you say XXXX...XXXX! etc. (I really hate that one. It's too convoluted.) and the hey hey ho ho chant was aimed this time at having Rick Warren to go.

b) Numbers were small (<300?) but impact was high: strong sound system and a stage in Times Square.

c) Proof of the consistently amateur or naive approach to this phenomenon is the fact that the wooden podium had no sign on it with a logo and info that would show up in media coverage.

d)And this is MOST important, we need to show great respect and encouragement to the young people who are producing these events. Someone at last is doing something. The flaws are inconsequential. To not show up, despite the weather would have been unthinkable.


Go here for some pics.

Caroline says...

This Q&A for Caroline Kennedy is one of the oddest-funniest pieces of writing I've encountered in quite a while. I just finished reading the questions and answers aloud to C, and see if you can't do the same without feeling that her handlers are manipulating a Caroline sock puppet. They seem to want to create a one-name persona for her, like Cher or Charo. (I'm glad to see she's down with gay marriage, but elsewhere in the Q&A, I begin to wonder who she really is.) Anyway, if you do it aloud, use a wise-cracking 1945 Daily Planet reporter-in-fedora voice for the questions, and for the answers, use an Eleanor-Parker-as-the-Baroness-in-Sound-of-Music voice for the Caroline says answers.

Tomorrow on Bilerico: "His Man Goes South for the Winter"

You'll have to go to Bilerico tomorrow at noon for my response to the following:

Dear Father Tony,

You won’t print this, I know, but maybe you can email me your opinion. I met a guy I like but there is a problem. He told me before we met that he was really into one thing. His face in my butt. (My on-line pics show I’ve got some classic bubble butt). I chatted with him because he is gorgeous (my opinion) and I began to fall for him. When we finally hooked up, he wasn’t kidding. I didn’t see much of his face and my mattress got the rest of him if you get my meaning. He says he’s never had it so good and I really cannot complain because he is so good at it, but still. We have talked about this. I told him I want more and spelled out what I like to do. He shrugs and says that is the way he is. When we are not going at it, we have great conversation. He is very well educated and can recite English poetry for hours. I love the sound of his voice (English accent) and I feel guilty about complaining but I want what I want just like he wants what he wants. I know you are going to say that we should never go into a relationship thinking we can change someone, and I guess I did but isn’t it OK to ask him to think about me sometimes? Sheesh. Is that too much to ask? I think I should stop seeing him and I think you will say that but sometimes I think maybe there is a way to work this out so we both get what we want. That’s it. Is there a way to make it work?

Worried.

Update. It's up. Get on it.

Fashion Trend Alert - The right plaid

This year, you can donate that tired tan Burberry plaid scarf, knowing that everyone you don't want to look like is wearing it or its knock-off.

Instead, reach into the back of the drawer and find that bright red and black plaid scarf. Or, if you didn't save it, get yourself a new one. This is the scarf of the season. It can say so many things. I'm cheery! I'm nostalgic! I'm angry! I'm bloody! I'm defiant! You choose.

Pair it with a black hat and jacket as a fiery accent. You needn't reserve this plaid exclusively for the neck. We recently had the opportunity to observe this same plaid on the friendly silk boxers of a new acquaintance.

As you can see below, this plaid conjures the muse of Christmas Past but she has not yet convinced me to smile. Still ten days to go.

Big Ass Belle at her best.

What makes for that rarely encountered great piece of blog-writing?

I know it when I see it, and I see it here.

There are ways to take it apart and analyze the components, if you are looking for guidance in your own writing. You note the opening image, a speedy blur and then a rapid zoom into the person who is the focus of the piece. You note the economy of choices made. You notice the way the reader is carefully ushered along with no confusion as to where the next door leads. You note the superb attention to visual angling, background sound, and interior emotions. You note the timing.

Is it possible to learn this type of story telling? I think not. Either you have it in you or you don't. Teachers can give you polish and help you avoid excesses, but they cannot give you instincts. This is not to say that we are brilliant every time we touch the keyboard, but sometimes...and this is one of those times for Miss Lynette.

Have Yourself a Wary Little Christmas

I've written about Bob and Ray's Christmas party in previous years.

I still think it is one of the best parties imaginable. We see some folks only annually at this party. They and we do not exist for each other outside this Brigadoonular fete.

You cannot be deleted from the invitation list, except by a verified report of your death.

The food is always memorable and the bar is like a $2 hooker...oh, figure it out.

This year, I upset a twelve foot ficus tree by sitting on the edge of its pot. Its shaken leaves provided an attractive garnish to the baked ham on the nearby buffet.

Despite their request that friends stop giving them tree ornaments (their collection is rotated in its yearly presentation), I spied an Orbamament that is new and a festive pig that I do not recall.





Here are C, Rob (who spins at Nowhere every second Sunday of the month), his partner Tim who is an admirable artist and our Joey who, at some point in 2008, transcended definition.



As you'll see in this tiny vid, the energy was high and convivial, but I think there was something different in the air this year. An uneasiness about the future. A sense of apprehension. We are entering a season of adjustment. Financial. Political. Social and philosophical. We are all preparing mentally for some not-yet-defined but major surgery. You could almost smell it just above the pine needles and the warm brownies. I listened as a doctor talked about being laid off from his municipal post. There seemed to be less shimmer in the costuming. Less bravado. Less daring. It's as if we have all taken a punch and are getting our wind back as we struggle to our feet. We are far away from the last round. We'll make it. We will win. We just need to pay attention.

See C

This afternoon we stopped by the Postmasters Gallery on 19th Street to see Jennifer and Kevin McCoy’s “I’ll Replace You”, a photography and video exhibit exploring the business of exchanging viewers, artists and critics with themselves (the real McCoys).

I was eager to see this because C is featured in a large composite photo in which Jennifer poses with a number of people who are wearing Kevin’s orange vest and a wig/glasses/stashe combination that mimics his look. (In an adjacent piece, Jennifer is replaced by people who pose with Kevin.)




Can you spot the boy, even as he recreates his pose, albeit in mirror image?



Here he is.



At another gallery we saw this, for which there are no words.

Oh Ricky, you're so...whatever

Here's a picture of Ricky Martin wearing his new twin boys. What caught my attention in this photo is the way Ricky looks at us. His eyes seek out the viewer's understanding and seem to yearn for the viewer's approval. I think we've been given that look before. By Joan Crawford. The comparison stops there, as I suspect Ricky will be a much better parent than was Joan.



Here are three wonderful women who have recently become unavailable as godmothers for the twins. They are in the great Green Room together, preparing and sharing their complaints about men for when they are ushered into God's throne room where their voices will scorch the paint off the walls.

Tomorrow on Bilerico: "Reminding me why I hate Christmas"

You will have to go to Bilerico tomorrow at noon to see my response to the following:

Dear Father Tony,

Is it possible to forgive and forget?

Betrayed

It's up. Get on it.

The Honorable Barney Frank

On Saturday, Dec 6, 2008, Barney Frank spoke at a Victory Fund luncheon at The Mayflower Hotel in Washington DC. We who were at the National LGBT Blogger and Citizen Journalist Initiative were also invited.

Barney spoke about what we should demand of those who say they love us, and, about the passage of an inclusive Hate Crimes Bill, but the funny money-quote is at the end of this two-minute clip from the video I made.